Saturday, 10 October 2015

Can I trust you? (Write 31 Days - Day 9, Five Minute Friday)

Day 9 of Write 21 Days is a day late. I had intended to write yet last night but the time got away from me and I ended up Skyping with my brother. :) This day is also part of Five Minute Friday.


Of the words that could describe how people relate to each other, I think that trust is the most difficult to accomplish. You can like (or dislike) someone quite easily. Even love can come pretty easily. Honour/respect is easily given (and easily proven to be deserved). But trust? It takes a lot of time and a lot of proving before I can trust someone. I find it easier to trust God than people. This, I hear, is unusual. But God has proven Himself over and over again that He is trustworthy. And people hurt people. It’s not even the physical hurt that’s the worst. It’s the emotional, mental, spiritual hurt that’s worst. I’ve been hurt too many times. People can be jerks. There are many people I like but few I trust. Trust requires me to be vulnerable, to let my guard down. But fear keeps me from doing that – “what if they hurt me too?” There are many people I like and I feel as though I should be able to trust them. But I just can’t bring myself to put down my guard. Trustworthiness needs to be proven but for it to be proven you need to give them something to prove themselves in! A vicious cycle. How do I let people prove that they are trustworthy? How do I learn to trust again?

I seem to have this 6th sense, for lack of a better term, this gut feeling, this instinct that’s been proven time and time again. There are people that I meet that I just get this strong feeling (instinct) that they are NOT trustworthy. It’s always been proven true. I’ve learned to trust my instinct (in these situations and in others that have nothing to do with trust). I’ve seen others trust these people (and I want to warn them! … and sometimes I do) and they ALWAYS end up hurt. So I trust that instinct. But often with people I meet, I don’t get that feeling. Meaning, these people should be people I can trust. But, I just can’t let myself open up, or let down my guard with them! Why not?! How can I learn to trust again? And why should everyone have to prove themselves? People will hurt other people, not always intentionally. And I need to allow for unintentional hurt and still call a person trustworthy. Is this inability to trust standing in the way of potentially great friendships? Trust is hard. I want to learn to trust again.

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