Trust
Of the words that could describe how people relate to each other, I
think that trust is the most difficult to accomplish. You can like (or dislike)
someone quite easily. Even love can come pretty easily. Honour/respect is
easily given (and easily proven to be deserved). But trust? It takes a lot of
time and a lot of proving before I can trust someone. I find it easier to trust
God than people. This, I hear, is unusual. But God has proven Himself over and
over again that He is trustworthy. And people hurt people. It’s not even the
physical hurt that’s the worst. It’s the emotional, mental, spiritual hurt that’s worst. I’ve been
hurt too many times. People can be jerks. There are many people I like but few
I trust. Trust requires me to be vulnerable, to let my guard down. But fear
keeps me from doing that – “what if they hurt me too?” There are many people I
like and I feel as though I should be able to trust them. But I just can’t
bring myself to put down my guard. Trustworthiness needs to be proven but for
it to be proven you need to give them something to prove themselves in! A
vicious cycle. How do I let people prove that they are trustworthy? How do I
learn to trust again?
I seem to have this 6th sense, for lack of a better term,
this gut feeling, this instinct that’s been proven time and time again. There
are people that I meet that I just get this strong feeling (instinct) that they
are NOT trustworthy. It’s always been proven true. I’ve learned to trust my
instinct (in these situations and in others that have nothing to do with
trust). I’ve seen others trust these people (and I want to warn them! … and
sometimes I do) and they ALWAYS end up hurt. So I trust that instinct. But
often with people I meet, I don’t get that feeling. Meaning, these people should
be people I can trust. But, I just can’t let myself open up, or let down my
guard with them! Why not?! How can I learn to trust again? And why should everyone
have to prove themselves? People will hurt other people, not always
intentionally. And I need to allow for unintentional hurt and still call a
person trustworthy. Is this inability to trust standing in the way of
potentially great friendships? Trust is hard. I want to learn to trust again.
No comments:
Post a Comment