She steps away from the mirror. Shouts, more than images, seem to reflect back. She closes her eyes, covers her ears, trying to block the sounds. “You’re worthless! Absolutely worthless! She’s prettier than you! She’s smarter than you! She’s more outgoing than you!” They’re right. Her sisters are all those things. Oh, they’ve never actually said those things to her. But she knows they think them. Her parents. She was the last. They wanted a boy. They got another girl. Worthless. What good is another girl? But at least the first three amounted to something! One has her beauty – that got her far. Modelling, acting, famous. The next got the smarts. Billions of things you can do with that! She chose law. Most successful lawyer in the province! Maybe even in all of Western Canada! She’s made a name for herself. And then there’s the third – super outgoing. That’s her greatest quality. She’s on TV – a journalist. Yeah, they all got a decent amount of brains, looks, character. She’s nothing. Never got good grades, yet somehow, miraculously, made it to college. What for? She’ll never amount to anything.
“Follow your dreams,” the teachers said back in high school. What are her dreams? She doesn’t even no anymore. Are worthless people allowed to have dreams? Away from the mirror, away from that awful sight of her pale face and stringy brown hair, her mind strays to her grade school days. There was a day she thought she’d like to be something. Before she turned so ugly, before everyone realized how worthless she was. She wanted to be an author. You don’t need to talk to people to write. Your characters can be your friends! There’s plenty of recluse authors right? Adds to the mystery or something. Maybe… Maybe tomorrow … Maybe tomorrow she’ll talk to someone about changing up her classes. Maybe tomorrow she’ll switch to some English, Literature and Creative Writing classes. Maybe tomorrow she’ll start to have some worth.
I need to stop writing sad stories ... it gets me down! Or, I just need to pursue this one further and find a happy ending for this girl ... whatever her name is. She hasn't told me yet. ;)
|Image by Me|