It's that time again! The time when a bunch of bloggers come together every Friday to write on a word prompt for 5 minutes - no stopping (unless that toddler manages to pull your hands away from the keyboard), no editing. Last week a few of us came up with our own words as Lisa-Jo was taking a technology break (I need one of those again!). This week, she was back with a lovely prompt: Close
“Why do birds suddenly appear, ev'ry time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be close to you.” ~The Carpenters
I see or hear the word “close” and that song comes to mind. I sing it to my daughters and they smile. It makes them happy that I want to be close to them. But, I must admit, sometimes I don’t want to be close to them. Sometimes I just want my space. As I’m trying to write this, my youngest is leaning against my legs calling me with a pleading, “Mommy!” (but more drawn out like “mmmmooommmmyyyy”) … she just wants to be close to me; I just want to write. I remember when I was a little girl, wanting to be close to the ones I loved. And I remember some of those loved ones pushing me away, telling me to just. leave. them. alone! It still hurts to remember, you know? But, if I have that memory, and I know how much it hurts, why on earth do I do the same thing to my own daughters?! They just want to be close! Often competing for a piece of my lap, not realizing that my mommy lap is big enough for both of them (expansion after childbirth does that … I guess that growth did serve a purpose after all lol). I do love their hugs and snuggles but sometimes I just need a break! I just need to remember that I can’t push them away, that I’ll get that break when they’re in bed.
And it’s not just me (or Darran) who they want to be close to. They love to be close to each other. The youngest at 18 months is so super affectionate. She loves to go up to her sister and just hug her. She wants to be close! Most of the times it’s love that keeps her close. Sometime, though, it’s mischief that keeps her close. You know, those times when she knows her big sister just needs space so she purposefully sits right next to her, with not even a millimeter to spare? And when big sister moves to find some personal space, little sister is barely an inch behind? Yeah, mischief likes closeness too. :) But the big sister also likes to be close. She’ll hug her sister so tightly out of deep love … and sometimes that tight hug is a headlock. I don’t think she understands yet how that hurts.
I love seeing that affection in my family … even if it’s motivated by mischief, because even that is an expression of love.
So here’s the conundrum, we all want to be close to each other, but we all also want our own space. How do we find the balance without hurting each other? Deep breath, remembering that we won’t always have this closeness, kids with grow and move away, parents die … embrace the closeness while we have it? Embrace it with patience!
|This is a regular occurrence in our house. Also a regular occurrence is what happened literally seconds later - older sister pushing younger away saying, "no more hugs!" :)|